As parents, we all want our children to succeed not only in school but in life and that means, in addition to academic success, they also need to be emotionally successful. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is critical for children’s development as they learn to manage their emotions, understand those of others, and navigate social interactions. It may be surprising to learn that emotional intelligence can be developed, and parents have a big part to play in this process. In this blog post, I’ll be sharing some tips on how you can help your children to become more emotionally intelligent.
.
Understanding Emotional Intelligence
First, it might be helpful to define what emotional intelligence means. In his book on the subject, psychologist Daniel Goleman identified five elements of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Children with high EQ are less likely to experience stress, have healthy relationships, and make good decisions. Numerous studies have been conducted on the advantages of emotional intelligence, which include better academic performance, positive mental health, and better interpersonal relationships (Mayer et al., 2004).
Copy Emotional Intelligence
Children learn a great deal from their parents’ examples. To develop emotional intelligence why not start by modelling emotional intelligence for your child. Use your feelings in front of your children and let them know how you feel when you are happy, sad, angry or even when you are excited. Use terms that are easy for the child’s age to understand when describing your feelings and explain why you have that feeling. For instance, you could say, “I have a meeting tomorrow and I am a bit nervous, but I think positive thoughts and take some deep breaths to remain calm.” Helpful Tip: Try to make your child express his or her feelings as well. You can use phrases like, “How was your day?” or “What made you happy today?” This practice not only makes the children to feel that it is right to cry or to feel other emotions but also to talk about them.
Encourage Empathy
Empathy is an important aspect of emotional intelligence. To help your child learn to put himself in the other’s shoes, help him think about other people’s feelings. When they see someone crying, ask your child, “How do you think they feel?” or “What can we do to make him/her feel better?” Reading together can be a great way to help children develop empathy. This is especially important with young children as you read and talk about the feelings of the characters and their motivations. See what your child would do in the same situation. This helps them to consider other people’s point of view and to understand how to communicate with other people.
Teach Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is about controlling emotions in a healthy manner. Children will have a lot of feelings, and it is our responsibility to teach them how to deal with them properly. Teach them ways of calming down such as taking deep breaths, counting to ten or even visualizing a place that is calm. Activity Idea: You may also want to design an ‘emotion toolbox’ with your child. It is a box or a container of things that help him or her to relax – a stress ball, a coloring book, or even a soft toy. Tell them that they can use the toolbox when they feel angry or upset.
Healthier Communication
It is essential to open and clear communication to develop emotional intelligence. Ensure that your child has a place where they can turn to and share their thoughts and feelings without being made fun of. Enter actively and affirm your child’s feelings. Just a simple thing like saying, “I know that you are angry,” makes them feel like they are being heard. Helpful Tip: Teach your child how to use “I” messages to express feelings. For instance, instead of saying, ‘You never listen to me’, they can say ‘I feel ignored when I am talking.’ This also assists them to make their feelings known as well as fostering good communication.
Enhancing the Critical Thinking Abilities
Emotional intelligence also includes the ability to solve problems effectively. When your child has a problem, help him or her to solve the problem rather than solving the problem for him or her. You can also ask some guiding questions like, “What do you think should be done in this case?” or “What are the possibilities that are available to you?” Activity Idea: Role play is also another way of teaching children on how to solve a problem. For instance, you could pretend that you are in a position where you have to settle a quarrel with a friend. This helps them to learn how to solve issues in a safe environment.
Encourage Social Interaction
It is important that children understand social skills as part of emotional intelligence. Assist your child to interact with other children and attend group activities such as sports, clubs or play dates. These encounters give them a way to practice empathy, communication, and conflict resolution. Helpful Tip: Shape and direct their social interactions in a positive way. When they have a conflict, help them analyze what has happened and what could have been done differently.
Teach Resilience
This paper defines resilience as the ability to recover from adversity and it is closely related to emotional intelligence. Explain to your child that failure is breaking a rule and it is a way to grow. Share with them stories of successes of other people who once failed but learned from their experiences. Activity Idea: When your child fails at something, you should help him or her analyze what was learned and how he or she can approach it differently the next time.
Validate and Support
Lastly, always assure your child that you understand how they feel and what they have been through. Tell them that it is normal to have different emotions and that you are there for them to support them. This validation enhances their self concept and helps them to express their feelings.
Therefore, emotional intelligence in children is an important aspect that can only be achieved through a process that is fun, and this process involves a lot of time, effort, and love. Some of the ways you can ensure that your child learns these important lessons is by being an emotional role model, encouraging empathy, and teaching them important skills. It is important to note that emotional intelligence is a process that continues throughout life. This means that if you start early, you are preparing your child for success not only in school but also in life.
Let me know in the comments. What are some of the things you've been doing to teach your kids about emotional intelligence?
Add comment
Comments